Alternatives to Muses?

Although Aggie has been trying to make up for 5M's lack of edge, the sad fact is that her life lacks drama that she is willing to detail and she's not mean enough to name initials. With this in mind, I thought I would do a targetted search for women who identify themselves as being perhaps not so nice.

Unfortunately, as you will see by my comments, while some come close to being metabloggable, I failed to find a perfect replacement muse.

AngryBlackBitch: Comments on all the American stories that everyone else is commenting on, with the occasional pointed rant you don't get everywhere, and enough references to vodka and cranberry to you'd think she had a thing for our friend the Chair.

Bitch Ph.D.: A leftist, feminist American academic who invites comments and discussions and seems to get them.

Claiming my Inner Bitch: This self-described progressive, born-again Christian has an amusing adult content warning, but spends more time battling depression and complaining about things than talking about sex.

coldbitch.blogspot.com: A 20-year-old in Singapore who doesn't know how to use periods or the shift key. Calls her boyfriend "mi dearest", gets struck with jealousy, and blames herself for it. Not bitchy.

coldheartedbitch.blogspot.com: Dead blog. Depressed 18-year-old who thought swearing made her a bitch.

coldheartedbitch.com: Porn site. And not a good one.

The Company Bitch: A highly readable blog by a young woman in NYC. I especially like her nicknames, for example: "Re-boyfriend". [If she lived closer to Ottawa, I'd metablog her.]

Confessions of a Horny Bitch : A sex loving and monogamous young woman who gets really worked up by uninformed negative comments on her blog.

Heartless Bitch for sale at Heartless Bitches International

Heartless Bitches International: A club for Heartless Bitches, where those whose applications contain grammar and spelling mistakes are mocked, "nice" guys are pilloried, and you can buy Heartless Bitch merchandise. Definite bitchiness here, but the head heartless bitch just spent over $900 to save her cat's life, on the other hand, she didn't seem to care about the third world people she could have saved with that money.

humorless bitch: Rants on Mac software and U.S. politics that assume you know the context.

innerbitch.com: Under construction

innerbitch.net: Two computer gals who like blogging, sci-fi, and the seafaring novels of Patrick O'Brian. They'd be perfect for the Dwarf, but the one with a cat is married, and the other has a dog. The bitchiness is so "inner" it's invisible.

innerbitch.blogspot.com: A dead blog with a single posting from a woman with poor writing, typing and spelling skills.

kinky bitch: It looks like this young woman who enjoys pleasuring herself and thinking about sex with men is more interested in finding love now.

outlaw bitch: A fellow Canadian who goes apple-picking and coos over baby cows. An outlaw? A bitch? Maybe not.

Reap the whirlwind

Hmmm. What to do, what to do. With all of this back and forth between A)Muse and B)Muse, a coyote feels like he's mostly chasin' his own tail.

Shrug.

'Scuse me, now. I need to go find something I think I left behind. Where did that furry thing go...?

Why the Chinchillas are not being blogged

1. R may have suggested that the wee chinchillas are not a suitable topic;


2. 5M had several rough experiences with previous pets and perhaps suspected that unkind commenters would leave nasty remarks or speculations on her reasons for even having chinchillas; or
   


3. that others would make satirical cartoon series about them.

Those are my guesses.

I wish her well with them.

I understand that chinchillas aren't the easiest pets to care for, but I'm sure she's up to the challenge.

No Coat for Siren

What's this? The original Muse is back? And where are the baby Chinchillas? This is so confusing. However, I find it a little too coincidental that Aggie disappears just when Musie comes back. Hmmm. Enough said.

As for finding a 1st-year-since-1st-date anniversary gift, I found out that Ms. Hatton does have some works for sale at the Dale Smith Gallery. They range from $800 and up. Maybe a bit out Musie's price range, but when it comes to 1st-date anniversaries, is there really a price too high? And if it is a money problem, I believe our former ESI'er, Siren, would buy a few of those new Chinchillas.

Lushness and Aggie

Is our Aggie an incipient lush? This is not an idle question. When the Irregulars enter the social whirl, the girl's always enjoyed a hearty pink gin. Or two. In her brave quest to develop interesting new dysfunctions for us to metablog, she has lately mentioned scarfing two bottles of red in quick succession.

And she's a writer. We all know what that means. Big risk factor. Think Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Dorothy Parker (Hell, the entire Algonquin Round Table...), Raymond Carver, Adela Rogers St. John, Charles Bukowski, Jean Stafford, and for all I know, Ann Landers and Dear Abby.

Just yesterday, she posted that trying to be a metamuse was more difficult than she'd ever imagined, and wondered what it took for us to notice her. I sense that this bid for attention may be a wrenching cry for help.

Must we ESIs stand idly by as Agatha sinks into a slough of sloe? Will we urge her to find a 12-step program as we enter one of our own, for co-dependents? Should we stage a showy intervention, a la certain extended-cable-package reality televison programs with lamentable production values?

Or perhaps we need look to the danger signs behind the windows of our own glass houses first, and ask ourselves what roles we have played in this sorry saga -- 4th Dwarf's ever-present rum flagon and documented bent for erratic nautical courses; the Chair's trademark martini glass and Dean Martin-esque warbles at parties; Conch Shell's secret compartments and unexplained -- but fishy -- long absences; the Independent Observer's penchant for glasses of all kinds. And yes, my own weakness for quantities of fermented chokecherries.

Tangled questions. Perhaps we need to call an emergency meeting...