The meaning of life

With this title, I figure BlogAdmin will fire up that antique Monty Python Cam any sec...

But really. Humans' wanting meaning to exist, and being disposed to look for meaning, doesn't always mean that it's there. Maybe it just means they're being particularly over-ingenious at pattern recognition. I'll make a small nod here to Sartre as a quotable authority on life's meaninglessness. 'Small' because while I began Being and Nothingness, I didn't finish it. It was giving me nausea... but the guy did have an argument.

I've been reading the Muse's last few entries with a certain puzzlement. I'm not a very bright coyote, but it seems to me that some of this stuff about life's circles within circles, karmic payback, &cetera, may come from the vantage point -- that of having achieved the longed-for great love and marriage, after going through relationship hell. Oh, I'm big on karma and the circle(s) of life myself. Having figured somewhat in one or two local creation myths, a coyote of my ilk can barely do otherwise. But what about that PA guy, who has not found his own blessed state? And come to it, was she quite so certain of life's karmic gyres back she she was feeling desperate herself?

"I understand PA's desire to "settle" and find ground. For so long, I too was looking for that. I was desperate for it. Now, I can just focus on making this work, which is a much more rewarding process than trying to find someone to work with," she says.

Uh, exactly. I'm sceptical that her current high cycle may have been pre-ordained by the low that preceded it. Could just be dumb luck, appropos of no cosmic plan whatever. She's an undeniably bright one, but the gloppy and sticky goo of sentiment soaking through the reasoning here is musielage.

(Image: thecakelady.ca)

Labour Day Epiphany

Epiphany: 3 a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b : a revealing scene or moment

First, I want to apologize for not attending the Emergency ESI meeting. As 4D mentioned below in the meeting minutes, my excuse was shoddy. The truth is, I continue to have trouble coming off of vacation: my health has gone into decline, and my spirits have been low. However,there was a gradual upturn on the weekend, punctuated by an epiphany. The epiphany came out of three unrelated things -- Musie's recent blog postings, a singer/songwriter I saw on the weekend, and a conversation I had with a young mystery writer last week. The epiphany was this: One of the great struggles of life is knowing when to work and when not to work. Overworking can be as bad as underworking. But, underworking can be bad, too! Pretty deep, eh?

Musie is doing well right now because she is not working so hard. She is learning to relax and enjoy the details of her life. Like many of us, her natural inclination is to overwork. She worked far too hard on the "M" relationship. That was not good. Relationships may be 'work' sometimes, but they should not be that much work. The relationship with "R" seems easy right now. I like that the man got them a dishwasher. Again... less work!! I also like that "R" is sleeping a lot and is still managing to fix things around the house.

Second event. I saw a really intelligent, great singer/songwriter on the weekend. Unfortunately, I felt that he ruined two potentially great songs by overworking them. They were too much. He didn't give his listeners enough credit, and they came across a bit wanky. Another example of how things can be ruined by overwork.

Third thing. A conversation with a young mystery writer. Here was the conversation:
Young mystery writer: What do you think I should do?
Agatha: Why are you asking me?
YMW: Because I want your opinion.
Agatha: OK. I think you need to work your ass off and stop asking people what you should do.

My goal for the next few months--figure out where I need to work more and where I need to work less.

On diaries and diarists

As a reflective kinda coyote, I understand the journal keeping impulse. Kept one, on and off, myself, for dog's years...

Yet as one who is also somewhat retiring, I don't think I am able to fully appreciate why so many people blog their innermost thoughts on this internet thingy. I prefer to keep my innermost thoughts innermost, rather than inter-most. Posting some of the things our Muse has written in the past takes a certain kind of courage, and her candour has occasionally left me breathless.

'Course, some would say that with a dog's breath, that's an improvement... oh, nertz! As usual, I digress before I get to the heart of the thing. We semimythical, animistic, shamanistic dogs have attention-span issues...

What I started to say was that in my experiences with journals and diaries, many, if not all, seem to be written in a spirit of self-exploration. Stated bluntly, diarists flow most when issues abrade 'em, and ebb again when things smooth out. Human nature. The sincerer sort of diaries and journals are attempts to work out that most vexing of problems -- "What the f*** makes me tick? How do I fit into all of this?!". Certainly, her epic struggle with He Whose Initial Shall Nevermore be Blogged (HWISNBB? Oh, crap, it's more convenient to keep calling him 'M'...) was a case in point.

Agatha, always perceptive, and sometimes eerily prescient, has said more than once that the Muse cannot stay away from blogging, and the Muse's own recent behaviour now lends proof. I note that her three-month hiatus from her site approximately coincides with what relationship mavens say is the average 'honeymoon period' of 90-odd days -- that blessed period when everything is viewed from atop a pink cloud of bliss. After that, one begins to settle toward a more realistic perspective.

Now, notwithstanding the fact that our girl was marrying, moving house and wrapping up a thesis, and doing, uh, all sortsa other stuff during that time (and congratulations to her, by the way), I'm sure that there was a honeymoon happening. R sounds like a decent sort -- whatever scurrilous things the Dwarf and Chair may impute. (We do have an image as unconscionably rude pranksters to preserve, don't we?)

But I'm thinking that now that all of this is out of the way, she's reflecting again. She is of that nature. Now, she says that R. isn't fully comfortable with her blog, and has asked for some privacy. If there were any relationship issues, we'd likely not hear them, and I'm okay with that. The man stated his wish, and one respects that. But she can't not write somewhere, and I don't have a sense that she journals offline. Sooo, gratitude, happiness and Top Ten 'I Love You' lists aside, I'm wondering what our Muse is really thinking about these days. I await with interest the unfolding of her full reasons for surfing back into the domaigne publick...

(Image: Mills 1983, Creative Commons)

Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2006-08-31

Agenda (as set by the IO with no amendments):

1. Return of the Fifth Muse
2. Xpress Best Ottawa Blog Award
3. Debriefing of weekend events
4. Other Matters

Location: The Usual Place

Members Present: The Chair (convenor), Independant Observer, Coyote, 4th Dwarf (arrived late)

Absent with Barely Acceptable Excuse: Conch Shell

Absent with Unacceptable Excuse: Agatha

Invited Guest: Audrey

1. The Chair, IO, Coyote and Audrey entertained themselves as best they could until the Fourth Dwarf arrived and told them of his exciting day and exciting new career in Rocket Science.
2. Not wishing to have the entire evening focus on himself, the humble dwarf yielded the floor to others and a lively discussion began on item #3 and the direct interest the Christian God has taken in Conch Shell's life. All agreed that his plan did seem to be working out for her.
   
3. Somehow this lead to discussion of the Chair and [redacted]. Comparisons were drawn to the Fourth Dwarf and [redacted]. (Note: Coyote and IO were left out of this one as they usually are for reasons unknown to your secretary.)
4. In an unconscious wish to bring us back to the agenda, Audrey raised a concern that the Fifth Muse's top ten list didn't say anything about how R is in bed.
   
5. This lead to a wide ranging discussion about passion. The Chair observed that for Audrey, passion is essential to start a relationship and said something about somebody only sleeping with someone they want to marry.
6. "I don't sleep with men I want to marry!" exclaimed Audrey, "I only sleep with men I want to have sex with."
7. A lengthy conversation ensued in which Coyote, IO, 4D and the Chair tried to ascertain just what this meant.
8. The IO asked 4D if he would do the minutes.
   
9. Audrey asked with surprise if she had been attending a meeting.
10. 4D asked Audrey who had invited her.
    
11. Audrey said it was the IO.
12. Upon direct questioning, the IO admitted he had not told Audrey it was a meeting.
13. 4D walked away as if in disgust, but really just to go to the bathroom.
14. Upon his return, 4D asked the IO a direct personal question about [redacted].
15. Following a back and forth round of misdirection and further probing questions, the IO gave an almost direct answer.
16. Bar bills were paid and the meeting adjourned.
    

Secretary's addendum:

Although I cannot make up for the lack of serious discussion that took place on item #1, 5M's return to blogging, I had a lively discussion in my head on the way to the meeting about item #2 and how the discussion would go if Conch Shell and Agatha were at the meeting.

Aggie: Are we going to nominate the blog for the Xpress award?

Conchie: We totally should!

Coyote: Hmmm....

Chair: It would be hilarious if we won.

Aggie: What do you think, IO?

IO: Sure, it might give us some profile.

Conchie: Do you think there'd be any money?

Coyote: I doubt it. Who would do the nominating?

Aggie: You're being awfully quiet, Dwarfie...

Conchie: Yeah, Dwarf, what do you think?

4D: {rolling his eyes} First of all, half of you haven't even posted in the last two months. Secondly, do you think the Rabid Posse would let us win? They might not win themselves, but you can bet that Lana and Minty have a lock on who's going to win and the fix is in. We'd be wiser to take the high road and pretend we don't care about some stupid Xpress award. Piss on it.

IO: Yeah, and you could do that literally, Coyote.

Coyote: har, har.

Top ten ways for Musie to get R thrilled about her blogging

10. Claim that since curtailing the blogging, she’s felt like joining the Conservative Party

9. “I blog or get 3 kittens. Your choice”

8. Blog that you’re back together with M, and the whole R thing was just a dream sequence, like in that show Dallas

7. It’s crude. It’s manipulative. It’s fellatio.

6. “I blog or Coyote moves in. Your choice”

5. Keep out any obvious physical descriptions that may identify him such as his messy curly red hair….oops…too late…don’t read that.

4. “I blog or you must listen to every little mundane nuance of my life for which I need an outlet. Your choice.”

3. Tell him she’s doing it for the “underdogs” out there in blogland – for example, the ESIs

2. Next blog entry: How to get along with a guy with a big penis

1. Only blog in his presence. In the nude.

[...R's not thrilled I'm blogging again...]